Some movies miss the mark. Others miss the entire target, reload, and miss again. The 355? It turned missing the point into a full-time job, and racked up 168 busts doing it.
Quick Verdict Section
- Bust Count: 168
- Verdict: CONVICTED
- Sentence: Wasted potential
What The 355 Was Trying to Be
At its core, the 355 was trying to be a global spy thriller. The 355 had a diverse cast, featuring Jessica Chastain, Diane Kruger, Fan Bingbing, Penélope Cruz, and Lupita Nyong’o. The movie had the main characters, who were all in different parts of the world, team up to form a supergroup in pursuit of the drive, which also made it to different parts of the world, from Colombia (its birthplace), to Paris, Morocco, and then Shanghai, where it was finally destroyed.
From the Colombian scene introduced in the first few minutes of the movie, the 355 had a “Serious” tone like Mission: Impossible – Fallout or Skyfall.
Instead, what we got feels like a checklist:
- Assemble team ✔
- Add Narrow Alley Chase Scene ✔
- Add betrayal ✔
- Insert action ✔
- Forget to make it compelling ✔
It’s not that the movie didn’t know what it wanted to be. It’s that it never figured out how to be it.
It had all the good ingredients of a James Bond-type spy flick… just none of the flavor.
The Biggest Cinematic Crimes of The 355
There are mistakes we noticed in the 355 film.
1. Spy Logic That Falls Apart Under Light Pressure
In the 355, most of the characters’ plans rely on coincidence. Take, for instance, the coincidence in the dock scene where Marie uses a JCB telehandler. Also, in most scenes, these highly trained agents make amateur decisions. So, critical moments feel… improvised in the worst way.
2. Twists You See Coming From Another Country
A spy movie lives and dies by its reveals. A good spy movie knows how to play with reveals. But in the 355, you’re ahead of the script the entire time. And when the twist finally lands, it just confirms what you already knew. It was very obvious that Nick wasn’t eliminated by Elijah Clark back in Paris. This is mainly because the death was offscreen. Not to mention the fact that he was already a recognized male in the cast, so it was pretty obvious that he was going to come back as a secret villain.
3. Characters Without Weight
The 355 has an incredibly strong cast, but the writing gives them nothing to work with. The motivations are thin. The chemistry between them feels forced, something noted in multiple parts, between Mace and Nick, between Mace and Khadijah, as well as Marie and… well… everybody. The worst part is that backstories exist… but don’t matter. In the end, they’re placeholders in a mission briefing.
4. Action That Looks Busy, Not Impactful
There’s movement. There’s confusion. There’s editing. But there’s no impact. Let’s, for a moment, compare that to something like Mission: Impossible – Fallout. In Fallout, every sequence is clear and deliberate. And all those moments combined escalate the story..
The Real Crime: Wasted Potential
This is where it stings. The 355 had a solid premise, a portable hacking device (too 80s and 90s cliché, but sure), and a capable cast. The movie also had a genre that works when done right
The 355 wasn’t a bad idea. It was a bad execution of a good idea. And that’s always worse.